Friday, 28 November 2008

Why God Made Mums

My Sister In Law sent me this little gem. It's rare that I do anything with these types of emails, other than hit delete...but this time I think it's worth sharing. It comes with a warning: Put down the cup of tea, coffee or whatever you're drinking, lest you spit it all over the computer screen!


Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum?

1.. We're related.

2.. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mum?

1. My Mum has always been my Mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mum need to know about Dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mum marry your Dad?

1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My Grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such an idiot.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between Mums & Dads?

1. Mums work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mum do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mum perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. You know, her hair. I'd die it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.


Felicity said...

Hilarious! "You know, her hair. I'd die it, maybe blue. " There has also been an email floating around in the same theme but on love and marriage. Very funny also :)

Felicity said...

Off topic question: Do you have, or know where I can find one online, a recipe for a fruit/nut roll loaf thingie? I have one of those cylinder tins to make it in but struggling to find a clear recipe!

Beth said...

I love it!
I'm not a Mum, but they are just hilarious!

Tracy said... are always funny! Must post Mr Busy's latest episode that amused me no end and had his teacher in stitches!

Felicity...let me go check out my trusty rusty AWW books...I'll get back to you on that!

Felicity said...

You are AWESOME! I would *love* the Date and Walnut, and if you possibly could muster up the apricot one you mentioned too? :D

Email is:

Cabbage Heart said...

That is so precious...I could just picture my little ones saying things like that too!

The Tin House said... to dye my hair blue.

Lisa x

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

So funny!! I loved the 'dab of mean'!! :)

Tracy said...

Oh yes Tina, that tickled my funny bone too.

Out Back said...

Too true!