I have two issues I'm trying to sort my way through, and I need for both of them to have been satisfactorily resolved by the time my children return to school for Term 2, in mid April.
The issues are:
* How much time do I spend at school in classrooms?
* Should my children be in church, or out in Sunday School?
Titus 2 tells us that women should be busy at home/keepers at home/homemakers/work in their homes/workers at home...depending on the translation you pick. In any case, I take from that, that women should be diligent in their tasks at home, caring for their dwelling and those who live within its walls. Proverbs 31 talks about this same diligence in caring for the home, family and maidservants (ie. whoever lives within the household). However, this passage also talks about other pursuits outside the home, also taking these things on with great diligence and commitment.
Part of the reason I spend so much time at school (6 contact hours) is that we have been given very generous fee relief, and so I feel it only proper that I should put in time (which as a SAHM, I have) in appreciation for their generosity. The other part of the reason is that I want to be involved in my children's education in a practical way. Homeschooling, while I admire it, is not something I believe that God has called us to. I am NOT gifted as a teacher! The other day our Head of Primary asked me to consider taking on some extra time in Mr Busy's classroom, as the class is quite large, by our school's standards. In doing so I would be bringing my contact time up to 8 hours a week. My dilemma is that while I would be committed to that and ensure that I am there when I promise to be there, I know that I will struggle to keep up with things at home. I am not a highly energetic or driven person. I like a quieter, gentler pace. I am trying to figure out how to be equally diligent in my work at home, and my commitment to help at school, knowing that come May, I will be facilitating a parenting course 2 hours per week as well.
The second issue I'm working through concerns our children's Sunday morning program at church. 'We' are trialling a new timing structure, where the children don't come into church at all, but go straight to their activities. We were told this would allow for extra time to build relationships between the kids and so that they could have their own 'worship' time that would be 'more appropriate' for their age group.
I can't tell you how I have wrestled with this issue, just on its own merits. I don't mind the kids going off for teaching that is aimed at their young minds. But I was not convinced that children just watch the grown ups worship. Mine certainly participated of their own accord. Not only that but this is one area in which I AM able to teach my children!!! I highly value being able to pass on my spiritual heritage and values onto my children and help them to also value being part of the family of God in a corporate way.
At a recent parent's meeting we were told that they hadn't really been able to do the worship part of the kids program, because they just don't have time. WHAT? My children are having NO opportunity to spend time giving their praise to God? They also presented this year's theme: Gr8 M8 08. Great Mate '08. Yeah...ummmm...not so sure I want my children being taught that God is just a great mate. We're talking about the Lord God Almighty. Not just a good buddy.
I am certain that our Youth and Children's Pastor's heart is in the right place and his intentions are good. But I feel heavy and sad every time I send my children off before we even get in the door. Deuteronomy tell us to 'impress' God's ways and truths on our children. I have always felt that it was parents being exhorted to be doing the teaching and impressing.
I know that there a just a few of you who stop by and read my blog, but I would just love it if you would be willing to share with me your wisdom, as I pray through these things and ask God to direct my ways. Right now I just feel very very uptight about both!
8 comments:
Tracy, I can't help you with your faith struggle, but perhaps my experience as a Mum who works two days a week during term, might help....maybe?
I mostly don't work. I am a sahm with three boys one of whom is in year 2 at our local public school. I like the pace of my life. It is slow, and even so I struggle to keep up to date with the chores and challenges I set myself. eg. preserving our harvest, gift making, correspondence, reading, play etc Spending any time away from home tends to create a bit of a hiccup in the domestic routine.
I've taken on working two days per week (not full days: 10am - 2pm) teaching at uni. I enjoy the stimulation, but it's not something I went looking for. DH & I decided together that the opportunity to maintain some current industry work would be useful in the years to come if I do want to reenter the workforce. So, I spend 8 hours per week in the workplace. About the same as you're talking about. This is only for 26 weeks per year.
Add to this a marking burden of about another 4 hours per week. I'm able to do this at night after the kids are in bed.
I have also committed to spending one morning per week in my son's classroom. Mostly, I help with literacy programmes for the kids who are struggling. For me, the value in this is the support and commitment my son sees and feels by my being there. Sometimes, I don't really do very much. But the pride I can see in him is worth every second I can spare. I usually race off in a hurry to return to Master 4yrs & baby who are either cared for by MIL, or DH.
So, on Monday I go to uni. Tuesday, I invariably wake up wishing I hadn't made the commitment to go to the classroom and drag myself off, knowing that sometimes the dishes from the previous night are still in the sink, or the house is a shambles generally. But the pay off is worth a bit of domestic disharmony.
Having said all of this, I'm not coming at it from a bible based perspective.
And...growing up as a roman catholic, I used to WISH and DREAM we could exit church and go to sunday school. But of course...see previous par...
I hope you don't tear yourself up too much about this. It's obviously really important in your heart and mind, and my wish for you is that you find the right answer, whatever that might be.
Lisa x
Tracy,
Wow! Where to start? I do believe that we are called to be IN our homes, but since your children are a at a school I think that it is fine that you spend time there as well. How much time? If you are already feeling pressured about not getting everything done, then don't commit to more. You are only one person, and it is okay to say No.
About church. I'd be running as fast as I could AWAY from any church that wanted me to send my children to a children's church rather than having them in worship with adults. Children learn by watching adults. They learn to do laundry, to make beds, to clean up after themselves, to pray, to worship. Worship is a family act as well as an individual act. Children need meat, or they'll never outgrow milk.
Thanks for your input ladies. I really do appreciate it.
Tracy, this is a church that we have been in now for 15 years ~ the Youth Pastor has only been there 3 and is only a new parent himself. I don't believe that he has reached the point in his parenthood where he understands the concerns that have been raised. I know we're not the only ones who are very unhappy with this trial. At this point I'm tending towards keeping my children in until they would've normally gone out, before this trial.
Again, thank you.
Hi Tracy,
I understand your pight. I have been to churches where the children were sent to Sunday school so the other worshippers would not be disturbed. This was the church my husband grew up in so he didn't even question it. We didn't stay with this church because I didn't feel comfortable leaving my children in the care of strangers ( which wouldn't be a concern for you obviously) and I felt they should be a part of the service. That was a choice we made and it was right for us. I pray that prayer will help you answer your questions.
As for the commitment to extra time in the classroom, I have had the same dilemma with working at my daughter's school. I Have spent time in all of my childrens classrooms and I enjoyed it immensely. It helps build a relationship with their teachers and shows the kids the importance you place on education. I have yaken the next step now and am working 2 days per week at my daughters school and I'm not sure if it is right. I know that I am finding it more difficult to be the wife and mother I want to be. I am only casual in this position and when the job becomes available on a permanent basis, I am sure that I won't apply. My advice would be to talk to your husband and follow your heart, don't feel pressured to commit to the extra time if you aren't sure.
Bye for now,
Tracy
Tracy, my advice to you about the Children's Church issue would to keep your children in church with you.
When I became a Christian, the pastor at our church preached that our children should be in every service that the Church had available to us...Sunday School, Worship Service, Evening Service and Wednesday night Prayer Service.
My children grew up being in all those services. We didn't have a Children's Worship Service. Sometimes, I think they have a Children's Worship Service just to keep noisy, younger children from not distracting the preacher.
My Pastor at the time I was bring up my children use to say that if you had noisy, disruptive, crying children who wouldn't listen, you needed to take them out of the service and making them more miserable than they were in the service. (If you get my drift). That was put in practice by several parents, and the children learned to behave in church.
I have two daughters who are now married to Pastors, so I think that it didn't hurt them any not to be in Children's Church and to be in the Adult Morning Worship Service with the Adults.
The children in our church learned the proper way to worship God with their parents.
In another church that I attended, there was a Children's Worship Service and it appeared to me that it was an extension of the Sunday School Hour and I didn't see much sign of children learning to worship.
Thank you ladies for all your words of wisdom and sharing your own stories. It does mean a lot to me. I'm going to continue to pray over both things ~ I'll let you know how we go with it in due course.
I will also have a long talk with dh about the school hours. Ultimately he's the one who is most affected when I don't cope with everything at home. He ends up doing a LOT of washing (laundry)!
We'll also have a chat about church. Now that the kids will be on holidays and in church for the next two Sunday's we'll be able to really see if they've forgotten how being in church is all about!
Hi Tracy... Funny how so many of us Tracy's have come to this same place;)
I know you have almost reached a conclusion but I thought I would share. I am a new mom too, we had our 6 month Family Day anniversary yesterday, hooray!
We moved after my son came home and we began looking for churches. I was excited about him attending Children's Church and being taught on his own level and worshiping there. Since he had just come home I stayed with him. I found in a few churches that while the leaders of the children felt passionate about the program the volunteers "watching" the children were there to watch the children. Because Children's Church is during church it is often looked over by many volunteers on a rotation. I saw them sing one song, and it wasn't a worship one. In several churches it was babysitting. One even popped in a Barney video. I am soooooooooooooo glad I went with him. I would have thought they were doing what they said- Children's Church, not babysitting.
I had never thought of our son staying with us until we found our wonderful new church. The nursery is an option up until age 3. Many children are working on staying in the service. It is great to know he is welcome. I now see the great benefits. He sees us worshiping and learning God's word. It is not always easy having him there, but I know it is worth it.
I just wanted to share my recent experiences with this.
Blessings,
Tracy
Hope I'm not too late to chime in on this one!
I'm a SAHM from the Sunshine Coast Qld, and I can feel the ache in your heart with the children's church situation.
I believe families should worship together. I don't believe God is into age-segregated church groups- how can the body be a blessing to one another if it is split up?
Most of the churches up here sadly follow the age-segregated pattern. I don't object to Sunday school, if the children just go out during the sermon, and learn at their level what the adults are learning in the other room.
My husband Pastors a little church up here, and during the sermon I take the children to a craft table just over near the wall. The children work on something related to the sermon, while they listen to the preaching. As the church grows, I'll have to take them to another room during the sermon, but we hope to continue the same pattern.
I don't know why so many churches insist on following the age-segregation of the world...
Claire
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