Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Parenting and Teaching - Same, Same, But Different

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It seems that, not matter how old your kids, or whose kids, or how many kids, most of the conversations I seem to have with kids (at home and at school) follow some pretty narrow and repetitive scripts.

#1  Highlights not Details
I am not a details kind of person.  I just need the general gist of something that takes about 2 minutes - not the half-hour, fine detail version.  The problem is kids don't understand summarising for the main points.  I'm sure my eyes roll back in my head - I know I kind of switch off a bit.

#2  Where did you put it last?
Because children never seem to know where THEY put THEIR stuff.  I sure can't track what they do, especially when there's 20 of them!

#3  What do I get if I find it?
This quickly follows #2, because inevitably said child does not understand the concept of actually lifting things and moving things with their actual hands in order to see if their "something" is hiding beneath all the other rubbish they possess.

#4  I love you - that's why I mix your names up!
This covers a multitude of name-mixing sins.  And I am an expert at it.  For the last week I've just had Dh & Mr Busy at home while the girls have been off housesitting.  Cannot tell you how often Mr Busy gets called his Dad's name.  Which is his middle name, so not such a stretch.  When Dh gets called Mr Busy's name....no such excuses.  I have been known to call a child their sibling's name, when I've never worked with the sibling.  *sigh*

#5  I don't need your help being a grown up
Children don't seem to understand that I lived a whole lot of life, quite successfully, without them telling what to do and how to do it.  At school this is also stated as "I went to Uni for four years to learn to do my job - you have a lot of school to do before you get to take over".

#6  When was the last time your nagging changed my answer?
You know, what they ask the same question a thousand different ways, hoping for a different answer?  My own children have finally figured out this doesn't work.  Well...Mr Busy still tries it.  The kids in my class?  After a year they still had to have this pointed out.

#7  What did I say?
After they've tried about three different ways of asking the same question....

#8  The rules haven't changed!
Because kids seem to think a different location, or a different grown up will change the behaviour expectations.

#9  What did I ask you to do?
Cannot tell you how often children get distracted on the way to complying with a direction or instruction.  Mr Busy used to find it hard because "his teddies were always talking to him" (he was about 4yo).  My 10yo's at school?  They would rather chat or wrestle than remember what they were meant to do.  Or they just weren't tuned in, in the first place.  My baby adults are like "oh, you actually meant it?  Like, now?"

#10  Is this working for you?
In response to inappropriate behaviour choices, the outcome of which means I have to intervene with some stern words, and said child looks totally uncomfortable about being called out on their behaviour.

And of course, often a pointed stare can remind children of the repetitive script they are likely to hear, if I actually have to say words!

What things do you find yourself repeating constantly?


Denyse Whelan. said...

I don't know...I am thinking you might have a bit more of 'details person' in you than you think!! I loved reading this because it shows me just how similar those days in the classroom and at home can be! Speaking from experience of course!! Denyse PS I went back teaching all those years ago because a class of 30 was easier to corral than a family of 2 kids!

Rebecca Senyard said...

Stop screaming
Please put the toys away!
Please put your shoes on
Where are your shoes
Please put shoes on that match
Have you brushed your teeth... There are so many on repeat in my household

Nicole Cox said...

Get your feet off the wall, put your clothes on, go to bed!! Teenagers, you would think I wouldn't have to be yelling but no. :(

Renee Wilson said...

Ahh yes. This is all very familiar. Stop fighting is my latest catch cry. #teamIBOT