Friday, 17 May 2013

The Parenting Files: Peers and Challenging Behaviours

My son come home yesterday spouting comments along the lines of "I'm never going back to school", and "I'm leaving and going to another school".  Apparently he is having friendship issues again.  Apparently I need to email his teacher about it.  Again.

The problem is that he is not completely innocent in the friendship issues.  He does things that annoy the others.  I know exactly what it is that he does that annoys the other kids.  I've seen it.  They've told me.  Last night we had a long discussion about being honest with ourselves because aren't usually mean just for the sake of it.  Not a whole class!  That doesn't excuse their behaviour or make it OK, but you do reap what you sew.

He wasn't happy to hear that he needed to own some of the cause for being teased or for the kids being mean.  I know those kids very well - mostly they're really lovely kids.  So I sent Mr Busy off with Matthew 5 and Psalm 37 in his new Bible, received for his 13th birthday.  When he came back to me he'd read some of the comments in the margins.  Quest Bibles have great information for younger people or new Christians.  Then we talked about the kinds of behaviours God wants us to engage in, and how God won't prevent the consequences of bad choices.  We also talked about how God wants to bless us and how choosing His ways and the behaviours He says are good can be the pathway to receiving the blessings God has promised.

We talked a lot about being meek. 

We looked it up. 

Gentle, kind, humble, courteous, patient.

Hopefully he'll switch his brain on before he says or does things today.  Thirteen year old boys don't seem to think much before they act.  Who said boys were easier?  I reckon the girls were much simpler at this age.  And much more sensible.

1 comment:

Left-Handed Housewife said...

I really admire how you've handled this situation! A lot of parents would be tempted to put all the blame on the kids in the class or advised their child to ignore it. But you've made this a real and important teaching moment. I hope he takes it to heart.