Donating Goods Made Easy

I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like the hardest part of decluttering your stuff is getting it out of your house!  Over the last two school holidays (which are 3 months apart!) I have decluttered my clothes and my shoes, so I had two boxes of stuff I needed to donate, but it just feels hard to get the stuff into my car and then find a donation bin to put them in.  It's not hard.  The donation bin is in the Woolworths car park, just 800m up the road.  But my boxes won't fit in the hole they need to go in.  Also, you can see there are three boxes in that photo.  One box has been getting in the way for six months.  Guys, this is so silly.  It's not that hard, surely!

Well...I discovered the easiest, simplest way to get that stuff out of the house and donated, with no more effort than putting it outside the front door by 7am.  Really!

When I lived down in the suburbs the Diabetes Foundation used to phone me (actually, it was before the internet was terribly useful, or many people even had it at home) and ask if I had anything for them to pick up.  I would always say yes, and then make sure I made time to declutter and clear out those areas of the house that needed it.  You know, kids clothes, toys, shoes, kitchen stuff, books...whatever.  So they would come right to my house and pick up whatever I left outside.  Yay.

Now that the internet is useful and everyone has it these days (nearly, I know, not everyone has it, even in Australia), I went googling to see how I could still get the Diabetes Foundation to pick up from my house, and would they even come to Our Town.  I mean, we're not just around the corner in an easy-to-get-to suburb anymore.  As it turns out, if you live in Victoria, you can book a pick up online.  Yes, right from wherever you have your device without even having to phone anyone!  Because, who has time to get to a phone?  Well, maybe a ton of you do, but once school is back I sure don't.

All you do to get someone to pick up your still-useful-junk is go to their website, fill in the online form, select a date and voila!  When I get home tonight that stuff on my front porch will be gone and my junk problem solved!  Of course, you can phone, if you prefer that option - there is a phone number on the "book a collection" part of their website.

What's your favourite, most efficient way, of getting stuff out of your house and donated to someone who can make use of it?

Monday Menu Planning

Do you ever get to the end the day and wonder where it went?  I certainly felt like that at the end of recess and lunch time.  Where did that break go?  I haven't finished my tea yet.  And I need to finish my tea.  I don't drink coffee and days with no release time are full on.  Tea is essential!  And sugar of some description.

The good thing is that I managed to get my menu plan and grocery shopping done.  On Sunday.  Sadness.  I so enjoyed not having to do that last Sunday, but you can't be at work all afternoon on Saturday and expect to get the grocery shopping done, now can you?

In any case, we have a menu, and one meal has been prepared, consumed and cleaned up.
Monday: Thai chicken curry, rice, roti bread
Tuesday: Chicken Kiev (pre-prepared from Aldi), vegetables
Wednesday:  Oven Friend Chicken, vegetables
Thursday:  Mum & Dad are bringing dinner with them (Hallelujah!)
Friday:  Fend for Yourself Friday
Saturday:  Homemade pizza (using Aldi pizza bases from the bread section)
Sunday:  Veggie Plate (a plate filled with roasted & steamed veggies)

We're exactly half way through Term 3, and you can tell that things are starting to slide, in the food department.  Pre-prepared, pretend chicken is evidence.  You know what?  I don't have the wherewithal to care that much.  And yet I do, but other things seem to get in the way of the time it takes to prepare the kind of dinner I really yearn to eat.

Why I have always made my kids' lunches

I've been asked this question numerous times throughout my kids' school years.  Why don't your kids make their own lunches?  It's a good question!  Usually it comes with a little sprinkle of disbelief, because it doesn't gel with the level of independence and responsibility we generally require from our kids.  The last time I had this discussion it was with someone who has only known me a short time, and doesn't know our family dynamic all that well.

To be fair, Mr Busy has broken all the rules of expectation.  I don't actually make his lunch for him, but I do send him to school with a bag full of tinned spaghetti and cup-a-soups.  And yes, that doesn't gel with my beliefs about food vs food-like products either.  But this is a difference between the boy eating and not eating.  Like his father many years before him, I found a number of lunches languishing in the bottom of his school bag, and I am vehemently opposed to wasting my time and energy making food for people who won't eat it.  So the man people in our house get no special lunch treatment.  The flip side for Mr Busy is that he won't take food if he has to make himself.  I'm paying a pretty penny for him to go to school, so I want his brain to actually work.  Therefore I send him with things he'll actually eat.  And that can sit in his bag or locker and won't go off.  It's a definite compromise on my part, but I think it's working, for now.

The real reason I've always made my kid's lunches (and was prepared to make Mr Busy's through to the end of Year 12 as well), is purely and simply about my own self-preservation.  Yes, they can do it themselves.  They all cook dinners, they're all very capable.  But this is the barest, most selfish reason for making lunches for capable people:

I can't stand listening to the kids fighting the kitchen in the morning.  Cannot.  Even.

When the three of them were still in school I would make their lunches and pop them in their designated colour of Tupperware sandwich box along with a snack and piece of fruit next to it.  It was their job to pack it into their insulated lunch box and into the bag.  There.  They won't totally devoid of responsibility in the process.  Just the being in the kitchen part!

These days I have no idea if the girls are at Uni for lunch or at home, or at church, or at work...  Baby adults with University schedules are a whole other beast.  I only really make my own school lunch now, and provide Mr Busy with non-perishable options.  And a lunch order on Thursday's.  Yep.  The youngest is spoiled, because I got tired of parenting.  Sorry girls.  You wore me out.

Monday's Weekly Menu Post

A miracle happened on Saturday - I managed to get my grocery shopping done instead of doing it on Sunday.  It's been something on my mental list of things I wanted to change, because I really don't enjoy shopping (you already knew that, if you've read here long enough) and doing it on Sunday just always felt like a double whammy of unenjoyable.

Somewhere along the line, I feel like I'm winning at a bunch of organisation things.  Especially at work....I don't know how it happens, but my weekly planning is zooming along so well.  So is my menu planning at home.  Don't you love it when things seem to come together, almost despite yourself.  I enjoy those moments because inevitably something will come along and bite me in the butt at some point!

In any case, this week's menu plan, all planned up and shopped for on Saturday.  Oh glory be!

Sunday:  Homemade burgers
Monday:  Lasange (homemade from the freezer)
Tuesday:  Veggie plate (a plate full of all kinds of steamed and roasted veggies)
Wednesday: Rosemary balsamic chicken (I'm gonna try the crockpot...wish my luck)
Thursday:  Freezer meal = Meat/Chicken pies, frozen veggies, jacket potato
Friday:  Fend for yourself Friday

There's the week's meals planned.  Now to get myself sorted for my final assignment for the  year.  I am so looking forward to having an actual day off, rather than unpaid days where I still fulfil my contractual obligations.
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Mum's Minestrone and a Crockpot Win

I have always been a reluctant crock-potter.  Partly because of the fare my mother produced in hers, when I was a child.  My mother and I have very different styles of cooking and preferences in food.  By far my tastes are more complex!  I am also more willing to put in more effort.  Don't get my wrong.  Mum is an excellent cook.  She just doesn't enjoy it, and isn't motivated to do more than necessary.  Also behind my crockpot reluctance is having produced some less than wonderful results.

My crockpot is as old as the hills, as you can see from the image below, which I found on Gumtree.  It was advertised as "retro".  Well, I'm not that old, but I have been married 26 years and this thing was a wedding gift.  It's not had that much of a workout and still works exactly as it did when we got it.  Mum insists the old crockpots were the best and not to get rid of it.  I've been a little more dubious.

Despite all of my reluctance and not-so-great experiences, which have included dry, stringy meat, I decided to give that thing another whirl.  I have Wednesday's off, so I figured that would be a good day to experiment, since I'm home to watch over it.  So, into that pot went my Mum's minestrone, minus the ham hock and beans.  I ended up having it on high all day, and it simmered very gently the whole time.  I turned it on low for a little bit, but everything just stopped moving and sank to the bottom.  I'm wondering whether 'low' is really just for keeping things warm, more than cooking things.  The last time I left something on low for 10 hours the carrots were still a little crunchy and the meat wasn't that tender.

An hour before I served dinner I threw in a few handfuls of risoni pasta and by the time we were ready to eat it was perfect.

That soup was the best thing I've cooked in the crockpot for years.  This coming week I'm going to try a rosemary balsamic chicken recipe and see how we go.  It was beautiful in the oven, so it had better live up to our high expectations!

Mum's Minestrone

Finely chop and saute an onion and 2 cloves of garlic, and then place in the crockpot, which is set on high.

Chop up into a fine dice:

3 carrots

1 zucchini

3 celery stalks

Throw into crockpot

Also add a tin of chopped tomatoes, Italian herbs and 1.5 litres water.

Set the crockpot to high and let it simmer for the day.  An hour before cooking add 3 handfuls of risoni pasta and cook for another hour.  You'll need to stir every now and then to make sure the pasta doesn't catch on the bottom.  You'll want to add salt (or not) to taste, depending on how you cook.

Serve with warm crusty rolls.

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The Strangest School Holidays Ever

It has been a very strange school holiday so far.  This week may feel a little more like normal, but so far it has been anything but.

It began last Monday with an early morning drive to get Miss Mischief off on her road trip to Sydney, to attend a conference up there.  Since I was up in the wee dark hours, when I got home I just got stuck into some work....four days later I decided that was enough!  We missed Mischief coming home, since the rest of us headed up to my parent's home in country Victoria.  It was an odd feeling, having us there and Mischief here, when she finally got home.

To add to the oddness, Miss Sunshine has gone back to Uni, so while the rest of us are still on a break, she's back to the grind and none to happy about the idea!  By the end of this week she'll feel better.  I'll go back to school next week, and then a week later Mr Busy, and then the week after that Miss Mischief will be back.  By August maybe life will look like we expect it to!

Gone are the days where all the little people here spent the first week of holidays bickering and trying to figure out what to do with themselves and all their spare time.  Gone are the constant "what can I eat?" and "Can I watch a DVD?" and "Can I play on the computer?" questions I used to field and manage constantly.  I don't manage the logistics of getting kids to holiday activities any more either.  Well.  Except for Mr Busy.  His Wednesday mornings are spent at church doing the technical behind the scenes stuff of lighting and sound and CG for Movie Morning.  This week one of the girls will need to do that ferrying.  Once upon a time I found school holidays exhausting and had to work hard to ensure everyone settled into something of a routine that wouldn't send us all crazy.  Once upon a time I wouldn't have worked at all through the break.

This school holiday break has been the oddest for sure.  But as I ponder what has been and consider the season in which we find ourselves, I suspect this is our new normal.  Kids who start and stop their school breaks at inconsistent times.  Kids who get themselves about the place.  Peace in the house because everyone gravitates to their own space when they're home.

The tip of the oddness:  me suggesting a trip to Eastland.

You can't imagine the sideways look I got from Miss Mischief.  Eastland is not on my list of places to visit.  One previous trip ended in hungry tears after being lost.  It's a whole story.  Another trip ended with us losing the car, because the car park there is ridiculous.  But Eastland is home to Daiso.  And Daiso is my kind of shopping.  So the girls are going to guide me carefully and lead me gently.

What's your school holidays been like so far?

I don't know what I was thinking

I've raised two children to young adulthood, and a third who is mere year away from officially, legally joining them.  We've parented and trained and disciplined and talked and guided and shepherd these children through the past 21 years.  Mostly they're really great people to hang out with, and certainly for everyone beyond our picket fence that is still totally and absolutely true.

But yesterday I blew a gasket.

I am tired of fighting with these people to have them do their dishes job after dinner.  Totally and complete done with it.  So yesterday, after asking one child to empty the dishwasher before they went out in the morning I ended up just doing it myself.

Me:  Could you please do the dishwasher before you go?
Child:  But Mum, I have to go, because I need to get in some hours at work and I have an appointment and I'm about to leave....
Me:  What, you can't take 5 minutes before you go?
Child:  No, because otherwise I'll miss out on time at work
Me:  Fine.  I'll do it myself.
Note:  Child works for their Dad and when they go and how much time they spend there is very fluid.  It's not a normal "start at this time" kind of job.

So I emptied the dishwasher.  And refilled it.  And cleaned the disgusting microwave that is above my head height, so I can't actually see in there or clean without standing on a chair.  I did the dishes, and dried them and put them away.  And the dish rack (no one seems to remember it has a place in a cupboard!).  I wiped down the bench and put all the bits and pieces away.  Then I decided I will just do the stupid dishes myself, for the rest of my life, and give up on arguing with all the people in my house.

Yesterday's episode came on the heels of another Child throwing a hissy fit because they didn't want to cook dinner.  That child got to stamp off to their bedroom and I had to figure out cooking dinner.  After I got home, so wasn't able to start dinner til after 6pm.  I have been known to tell these people they are free to move out....

I wonder when I get to throw a hissy fit and just choose not to do things...and then have them magically be done for me?

For now.  At least I have a clean kitchen.

And then I went back to work.

I'm still not convinced I'm ready to return to work, even after I started back yesterday.  By lunch time I was desperate for an afternoon nap, but decided hiding under my desk to do so was probably not going to go down well.  We had someone sign himself out, a few years ago, and then have a nap under his desk.  To say his wife was frantic, when he wasn't at home, nor thought to be at school, is an understatement!  So no nap.

But rhubarb relish.  I had my favourite lunch, and the Secondary Indonesian teacher questioned me "is that all you have".  I told her yes, but it was sooooo good.  But it comes with lots of containers - for crackers, and cheese, and butter, and relish.  My teaching partner had a little taste of some leftover and she wants the recipe.  One of the others in my teaching team has parents in law with lots of rhubarb plants.  I suggested she could hand some my way, because I now know I'll never have enough!

The other issue, my return to walk highlighted, is the dinner cooking situation.  The children seemed to forget that I was out all day until 5.45pm, and they were home.  Dinner was meant to be quiche.  It was frozen chicken pieces (from Costco) with a pasta salad Miss Sunshine had made the kids for lunch, and had intended to eat today as well.  Too bad, I say, since she didn't make dinner.

I find that if Dh continues his laundry ways and the kids can cook dinner, I seem to manage alright.  Coming home at 6pm and having to cook?  Not so great.

What helps you manage the home/work juggling act?

Things I miss...

Chinese Steamboat last night - a roaring success!

I've been working full time for just over a year now; oh what a year it's been.  Two different schools.  Two different year levels...three actually because I currently teach a composite.  Lots of highs, lots of hard days.  Lots of learning how to do what I've been trained to do.

I think that no matter what you do for a job and no matter how much you love it and jump out of bed in the morning to get into it, there are things about what you do that aren't so fun or exciting.  In the last three weeks of last term I keeled over and crashed a bit before I really could.  I went on school camp one week, got sick the next, recovered and pushed hard to get all those end-of-term assessment tasks completed.  I have felt blanketed by heavy exhaustion.  And these things lead to some self-reflection about the things I miss, because I work full time.  Things like:

1. Balance.  This is just the season I'm in, with a new career; one that consumes every waking moment, plus many of the non-waking ones.  Almost every thought I have is about something I haven't done, something I need to do, someone I need to follow up, finding some way to reach that kid who has that problem with that thing....It means many nights are spent curled up on the couch with my computer, never fully relaxing.
2. Time with friends.  I dearly miss having the space to catch up with a friend during the week.  I go many, many days/weeks without having that input.  Whilst my colleagues do fill this void, it is often when rushing between this thing and the next thing.  Just not quite the same.
3. Cooking.  I'd love to feel like I had the mental wherewithal to cook a meal at the end of the day.  At the moment the thought of making dinner causes me to lose the will to live.  And I miss those slow food meals that take time and attention....like handmade pasta or gnocchi.  Or even lasagna!  And having people over for a meal?  Oh my goodness, that feels like climbing Mt Everest!!!
4. Time for self-care.  One thing I need to do and have been unable to figure a way forward with, is things like exercise.  My work days are long so finding time to walk, even, seems impossible.  Especially through the winter when the only time I'm at home is when its dark.  But I also don't seem to manage to get to things like doctors appointments, or taking my kids to doctors appointments, or orthodontists, or optometrists.  

The antidote?  Do all some of the things I've been missing.  As I type (Monday afternoon), we're preparing to have a Chinese steamboat with a friend from work, and her two adult children.  We share a surname, although we are completely unrelated.  Our children have adopted one another as 'cousins' and I'm sure our evening will be filled with laughter, because we all love a good laugh....and all these kids are just very funny!  Perhaps this is the antidote to the things I miss and the feeling of overwhelming and exhaustion that crouches just behind the door.

I have two pots of stock simmering delightfully.  Miss Mischief will make a mountain of wontons.  We'll lay everything out and take our friends to China, via our dinner table.  Slow food.  Good company.  Yes, I think this may just be what the doctor ordered!  So.  A little chopping now and plenty of fun later.

Edited to add:  We had a great night (see photo above!).  A fun meal, lots of laughter and chatter and shared memories with people we adore.  So good.

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Working Full Time - A Year In Review

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A whole year has whisked its way through my life since I started working full time.  It's one of those strange phenomenon, where the days seem long but the year passes in the blink of an eye!

This time last year I was eagerly preparing myself to teach in a school where I didn't know anyone and not one of my students was familiar to me.  In short order I fell in love with that quirky, funny class.  And then six months later I left, since I only had a short term contract.  This year I am teaching in the school where I worked before I got my degree; the school my children attend(ed).  I knew all my students before I entered my classroom, some of them before they were even born!  I even get to teach my niece.  Along with all the lessons I'm learning about how to be the best teacher I can be, I've learned a lot of lessons about being a Mum who works full time as well.

1.  You can't do it all.

I've always known this.  Working part time and studying was a hard gig.  But I was home almost straight after school and I had time each week to weave in things that I enjoyed.  These days I'm not at home for about 10 hours a day.  I can't do all the things I wish I could.  At the start of the year I decided not to even pretend to try.  I have a good friend whom I pay to clean our house.  My kids cook lots of meals.  The girls help with ferrying Mr Busy to middle-of-the-day destinations, like his VET course on a Wednesday.  I choose not to feel guilty about any of those things.  

2.  Know the season you're in and respond appropriately.

I know that my current season is not an easy one.  Learning a new job, learning to do that in two different school cultures in one year, learning how to juggle motherhood with working life.  It's a big learning curve.  Working full time with a family is so different to working full time before having children.  In this season it means lots of self-protection.  Our weekends are fairly quiet and we don't do a lot of entertaining.  I sleep a lot on the weekends.  I am very careful about what I commit to.  I look forward to my work life being more seamless and streamlined than it is right now, but I know that is not my current season.

3.  Work/Life balance is a myth.

Because I can clearly identify my season and how I need to respond appropriately I am not overly concerned about the fact that my life is quite unbalanced at present.  My work takes more of my time than I would like it to, but it's part of learning how to do what I do now.  I was chatting with my BIL yesterday morning and he agreed - we need to make sure what we do aligns with what we believe is important.  I am content that my life exhibits that alignment.  I am committed to doing my job well.  I am committed to being in community within my church community.  And of course, being a mother means family is always a high committment.  My life is not and does not look balanced.  But it is totally aligned with what's important to me.

I am so grateful to have had 13 years at home with my children, focussing on just one thing: being a mum, raising great kids.  I am grateful to have the opportunity to move into a new season, where I get to do a job I love, and that this has coincided with my children being in their late teens/early adulthood.  I never thought I would want to work outside the home again.  I feel so blessed to be able to work, again, in the place where my son also spends his days.  I love that I get to work full time, and yet touch base with him in the playground, or when he stops by my classroom to ask for money for the tuck shop.  I am blessed to have one daughter who has decided she doesn't like being home when the house is being cleaned so she comes and helps in my classroom.  

On The Beam

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Are you someone who sets themselves New Year's resolutions?  Do you keep them?  I've heard of people choosing a word to define their year, rather than setting lofty, unplanned goals.  Me?  I've tried both and failed.  At both.  You'd think a word was easier to hang on to, but no.  Life gets hectic and that word is a vague and distant memory.

I've decided my year's beginning needs to be defined by what's on my beam and what's not.  I can hear you asking -- what on earth are you talking about Tracy?  Late last year I read "For the Love" by Jen Hatmaker, who is one of my very most favourite author people.  Hilarious, real, a little bit snarky with her sarcasm.  A foodie.  In her book Jen talks about her daughter learning gymnastics and how she struggles most with the balance beam.  She goes on to compare those 'tricks' with the things we try to juggle in our lives.

I am someone who has big issues with balance.  I have long maintained that any activity requiring balance is something best avoided by me, in preference to good health.  I can't stay on a horse.  Ever. I can't roller or ice skate.  In fact, I am the only person on earth who doesn't improve their skills over the three or four hours you might be on skates (read: I grab onto anything and anyone in order to stay upright because I can't do it on my own).  Skiing is a dead loss.  Who wants to land on your butt any time you try to stand up?  It hurts!  I won't even bother trying things like skateboarding.  Seriously?  Who dreamed up these torturous things?  And bike riding?  Just no.  I can fall over my own feet quite successfully, I don't need some apparatus to help me out!  The idea of comparing the things we juggle in life to a balance beam made so much sense to me.  I am so epically bad a balance stuff, and I am epically bad a whole bunch of life stuff too!

"We cannot do it all, have it all, or master it all.  That simply is not a thing.  May I tell you something?  Because women ask constantly how I "do it all," let me clear something up:  

I HAVE HELP".

~ Jen Hatmaker (For the Love)

So what's on my balance beam this year?

• Family - mothering, wife-ing, daughtering, sistering, aunty-ing.
• Work - a new teaching job at a school with which I am intimately familiar.  It'll be hard but worthwhile work.
• Church - I am continuing to lead a teeny little Life Group; an unlikely little handful of women.
• Health - what can I say?  A whole bunch of clothes I love, that I want to wear again.  Also a hill at school that I don't want to be winded by every time I have to walk up it.  There's a lot of up at school.  I don't like up!  I want to be able to like up a little more than I do currently.
• Friends - because these are the people who make life work.  That means book club with some of my favourite girlfriends.  It means breakfast on a Saturday with another friend.  It means spending time with people close to us.  There always needs to be time for friends.

What am I taking of my beam this year?

• House cleaning.  I'm going to start looking for someone to come and clean.  Floors and bathrooms is all I really want.  So on my beam initially is finding someone.  And then that's off.  I typically score an epic fail in this area and the kids don't do a good enough job for me to be satisfied.   Seriously?  The dust bunnies that grow around here could kidnap a small child and hide them forever!  I don't like clutter but cleaning is a whole other trick I need to get off my beam.  Yesterday I spent some time just vacuuming around the edges of all the rooms with wood floors, and the window sills, and under the computer wires, and around the TV cabinet.  You know...all the places a grown up person cleans.
• Cooking every night.  I just can't.  To come home after 5.30pm, following a whole day of little people (littler than last year, even) and have to cook dinner?  This has ended in tears over the last six months.  So off the beam!  There has to be some good from having baby adult people who know how to use a kitchen living in your house.
• Guilt.  I won't feel guilty about saying no to the stuff that doesn't fit my season.  I know my season is about learning to do my job well and efficiently.  I know my season is about getting baby adults to be grown up adults.  I know my season is about cheering on the 15yo who needs to be more diligent at school.  My season is not about saying yes to stuff just because it's "good".  It needs to fit into what I'm currently called to be doing

"We need to quit trying to be awesome and instead by wise".

~ Jen Hatmaker (For the Love)

What are you balancing that you need to take off your beam?  What are your keeping on your beam?  What's in your season right now?

Christmas Came Early

We are almost all set for Christmas around here.  A little present wrapping is all that's really left to do.  For me, though, Christmas came early.  My job was a short-term maternity-leave contract which finished up at the end of the school year.  On my last day of work I was driving home, when I got a phone call.  Literally - as I was driving home (I love that my new car has blue-tooth!).  It was my old boss offering me a new job!  I will be teaching a Year 3 and 4 class next year in the school I used to work at, where Mr Busy still attends.  I say "still" because both the girls have finished school now.  Only God himself knows how on earth that happened, but there you go.  Two kids who are adults and have finished school.  I'm sure I'll blink and Mr Busy will be done as well.

I can't wait.  I feel like I've been wandering like a stranger in the land for a year and now I get to go home.  I decided, during this past term, that I am not a suburban type of person.  I don't know how to dress for their weather, which is up to 8C different than where I live.  I don't enjoy the traffic that well, after years of whizzing about country roads and enjoying the most spectacular views and a five minute drive.  I can't wait to be a little closer to Mr Busy as well.  He's flown under the radar in the last little while, which has ended with a crash-and-burn finish to the year.

And the funniest part:  I will be teaching my niece, who already knows how this will go down.

Miss G:  Soooo....my teacher for next year is going to be.... Aunty Tracy (with excitement and then deep sigh and slumped shoulders)
My Brother:  You're not getting away with anything next year then?
Miss G:  Nope (deep sigh again)

Out of the mouths of babes.

On Being Disconnected

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Life here Beyond My Picket Fence is at full tilt.  Things in the classroom are feeling more settled - for me, and for the kids.  My own kids are valiantly holding up the dinner end of the day like the complete and utter champions they are.  Despite being busy and tired and getting home later than I have ever done since.....well....ever, I am discovering there is one major downside to working full-time:  being disconnected from your people.

We had parent-teacher interviews for Miss Mischief the other night.  Year 12's have them earlier than everyone else, because they're nearly finished with their coursework for the year.  And as we sat with each of her teachers I realised how much I miss my tribe.  We had to catch up with each other before we could catch up about Miss Mischief.  I've missed that I can't just pop into the Library and chat with my very dear friend, who is the Library Tech.  And I can just have a spur-of-the-moment cuppa with my friend up the road, or have a quick five-minute chat in the car park after school.  And a weekday breakfast with my book club gals is now off the table.  I just feel a bit disconnected, and I'm not sure how to go about getting that back.  I desperately need my tribe.  They are my go-to people when things are great, and not great and everything in between.  They are the people we pop in on spontaneously when we have a couple of hours to kill.  The people we have dinner with.  The people we camp with.  The people we celebrate our family accomplishments with.  We all need a tribe to belong to.  We have had a period of time when we were practically tribe-less and it was a pretty lonely kind of place to be.

But how does one keep connected to their tribe when their days are full in a place that is away from their tribe?

That Was Yesterday...Tales from the classroom.

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The photograph of my classroom, from yesterday, was a little premature.  I have, with the heaviest of heart, changed the desks around so that they are in rows facing the whiteboard.  I hate the stark, old-fashioned-ness of it.  I hate everything it communicates to my students about education.  But it seems my students are not quite ready for the responsibility that comes with being able to interact with their peers quite so readily.  The hard part is that it's only a large handful of boys that are causing the problems.  But I have this strong belief that everyone has the right to learn, and I need to protect others' rights.

Don't get me wrong, my students are amazing young people, and I adore them.  I just don't adore all of the behaviours I'm seeing.  Like calling out across the room, cutting up erasers and throwing them about, interrupting and not listening to others.  See?  My list of complaints is relatively mild.  But they do need to be handled.

On the positive side I have the most delightfully, hilarious conversation with one of my cherubs straight after lunch today:

Student:  Can I please go to the toilet?
Me:  We just came in from lunch.  Shouldn't you go at lunch time?
Student:  Wellll....yessss.....
Me:  So, tell me why I should let you go?
Student:  Well, actually I left my lunch box outside and I need to get it, but I thought you would think that was a silly reason.  I thought going to the toilet was more sensible.
Me:  Next time how about you just tell me the truth?  Tomorrow, you need to go to the toilet during lunch time, and if you need to get something you left outside, let me know and we'll deal with that?
Student:  OK.  Thank you Mrs --

I'm still giggling to myself.  Which is just as well, because tomorrow morning will begin with a very serious conversation about behaviour.

And tonight dinner occurred without my input, and there were smiles involved.  Lots of smiles.  Mine.

Of working, mothering and teaching

My Classroom

Week One of the term has come and gone and we have all managed to survive successfully.  Me, my students and my family.  We're all still alive!

Best thing?  My students are completely awesome.  My most challenging student gifted me with a two-day honeymoon to get me settled before he began letting me see his real self.  I've managed to get them coming into class in the morning much more quietly and more settled.  They are learning to control their in-class chatter and they have mostly decided I'm not as mean as I tell them I am.  Until I keep them in for talking when they shouldn't.  Then they kinda believe me.  I still can't get them to leave the room in a hurry though.  They want to hang about and chat!

Hardest thing?  Getting all that planning done.  And cooking dinner when I get home.  Miss Sunshine cooked three nights last week.   A beautiful, precious gift for this acts-of-service gal.  We went out the other two.  Bad!  Not sustainable.  I've talked with the kids and explained how hard this full time thing is when it comes to cooking and they are content to be on board with making meals throughout the week.  I get the weekend :)  And I've suggested to Dh that perhaps he needs to learn to cook.  He offered...but when I asked him how many questions I would need to answer he just looked at me.  I was too tired to answer questions!

I'm all set for the coming week.  Hopefully the tech guy will come and sort out things like showing me how the interactive pen for my data projector works, and showing me why I can't print...and getting some of my kids' iPads back on the internet.  And fixing my email signature, which I broke.  Note to self:  trust that it's working and don't fiddle!!!

Second Hand Magazine Gift...and then some

A friend at church handed me a big brown paper last week.

A stack of second hand magazines....all tied in a pretty bow
Chocolate
Biscuits (cookies)
Jarrah coffees
A note telling me to put my feet up

It made me think:  this is exactly 100% how second hand magazines should be handed on.  I was completely blown away by her thoughtfulness and the special added little things that made reading these so much more special.

Especially after my first week of working full time in over 19 years.  There weren't even any students yet and I was completely laid-out-exhausted by Thursday!  In a good kind of way.

The day I knew I needed to go back to work....or something

Today has been a day!  So far I have attempted to leave my house three times - I have one more to go.

Scenario 1:
Miss Sunshine woke me up at 8.45am to tell me we had to go in 10 minutes.  I raised my just-woken-up head from the pillow and questioned where we needed to go.  I had promised to pick up her best friend and take them down to the movie cinema.  Apparently.  Maybe I vaguely remember something about that, but really, at 8.45am??  What was she thinking?

Scenario 2:
I had to go back and pick the girls up from the cinema.  At the time I should have been there I realised I shouldn't have been at home.  Talk about panic...I raced out the door yelling "I'm going to get Miss S....I'll be baaaccckkkk". 

Scenario 3:
I popped in to the mum of Miss Sunshine's friend when we dropped her off.  We're chat-chat-chatting and then at 1.05pm I suddenly went "OH NO, I shouldn't be here.  I have to go out!"  Miss Sunshine sorted out L Plates and such and off we went.  I got home, grabbed all my bits and pieces and rushed out the door with an apple and a banana because God made great fast food.

Good news though:  the girls got to their movie a little late but thanks to advertising didn't miss a second.  I remembered to pick them up and was there before they got out.  And I made it to work on time, and since they moved the meeting time back half an hour I had time to catch up, eat a banana (because who has time to eat when they need to leave the house yesterminute?), have a drink and set myself up.

People, it is really bad when you realise you no longer have the ability to leave the house in order to get to all the places.  I need to be at the physio at 9am tomorrow.  I'll probably be awake at 4am worrying about whether or not I'll remember to wake up, get up and get there.

I have now done all the work I have planned for the year - presenting a PD to my former colleagues.  I need a job.  I wander about the house moaning "I'm soooooo bored", but then when I have something to do I can't figure out how to get there.  And now I need to leave in 30 minutes...and the child I have to take needs food.

Jesus please help my brain come back.  None of us can operate if my brain falls over.

I Don't Know How You Do It!

This is a statement that has been cast in my direction many a time.  The first time came when things were particularly difficult.  I won't go into the details.  Suffice to say co-owning a business is not good for a friendship.  Starting a new business at the same time was was not good financially nor emotionally.  I was brought to the bottom of the well and it was a dark place for me.  And I had people saying to me "I don't know how you do it".  The truth was, I wasn't doing it terribly well at all.  I was a mess.

When "I don't know how you do it" was again laid before me on Friday my flippant response was "nor do I".  After the morning I had yesterday I don't think I'm doing 'it' terribly well.  And truth be told I don't do 'it' terribly well pretty much most of the time.  Don't get me wrong, if I commit to doing something I get it done even if it kills me because I am a 100% kind of person.  Because of that I keep up with my study load, hand in assignments well and truly on time, I'm able to do my job at work with some kind of authenticity and competence and my family gets fed every day...more than once a day.  It looks like I'm doing OK to everyone else.

But don't let that fool you into thinking that I'm doing "it" well.  I've been home on school holidays for four days and my children have barely seen me.  I've got one final mid-semester assignment to complete this week and that has consumed my time.  Miss Sunshine is trying to organise her 18th birthday party and I keep saying "yes I want to see...no, I didn't mean right now".  When I was vacuuming on Saturday (read first time this year - just kill me now) I had a little 'moment' with some tears because I'm not doing this bit of my life well either.  House cleaning?  You've got to be kidding me.  When competing against being at work on time, submitting assignments on time, getting dinner on the table somewhere close to on time and getting kids to be where they need to be on time housework doesn't even rate a mention on the 'urgent' scale I run by.  It simply doesn't exist until some 'urgent' reason presents itself....like people coming for dinner.  Which hasn't been in our experience for quite some time thanks to aforementioned assignments.  My extroverts are dying the slow withering death of starvation from people time.  I have three of them shrivelling up alongside the dust bunnies keeping them company.  Since having someone for dinner (which I'm going to cook anyway) means cleaning as well we're just skipping the whole people-over-for-dinner scenario.

On Saturday it all got to me.  My grief over the loss of close community has been accentuated by the stuff I'm not doing well, and the fact that there is just nowhere to go with it.  I have a friend who had a conversation about house paint colours with her Dad and two days later the man was in her house painting her walls!  That's what I'm talking about - love with feet on.  And I ached a little more because you just can't develop that kind of community in the space of a couple of years.  That's lifetime stuff. 

So here's a suggestion for those of you who know someone that you "just don't know how they do it".  Because she's not doing it.  I'm here to tell you there's a whole bunch of stuff in her life that just isn't happening.  There's stuff you can see that looks pretty good but that's not the whole story.  So....ask what you can do so she can get on with "it".  Better yet, don't ask, just do something to bless her.  Get that woman's house key off her husband and go clean her house.  Make her and her family a delicious, healthy meal.  Paint her walls.  Clean her windows.  Weed her garden.  These are the things that will bless the woman that "you don't know how she does it". 

These are the things that will help her feel like she might just make it. 

Love with feet on.

A Day for Resting

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I got up and got dressed for work this morning.  Then I changed my mind.  And my clothes.  For the past week I've been fighting off and then succumbing to a head cold.  My body feels OK, but my head hurts.  Especially when I cough, which is often.  Yesterday my Head of Primary suggested I was unfair to bring my germs with me to work.  Today I conceded defeat and gave in to stay home on the couch.

It is exactly one year and one month since I was last laid out with a cold - I know because it was the last time I sent a text to let school know I wouldn't be at work.  A whole year!  After being sick twice the year before I wanted a whole year, and I got it.  I think now I need to aim for....well....five years seems good to me.  I wasn't willing to admit this cold either.  The kids were saying "Mum, you're sick" and I was in denial saying "No...no I'm really not".   It worked in May when I was on teaching rounds and couldn't take time off.  My sore throat never progressed beyond just that.  I won that one!  I thought I could win this one too.

My recipe for getting better?  Three hours with Anne of Green Gables and three hours of sleep.  A perfect balance, wouldn't you say?  That and plenty of cold/flu medicine and Vicks Vapodrops to "soothe the throat and clear the nose".  I was going to have a little nap and then have lunch and watch some episodes of Nigella, but....well....I didn't wake up.  No lunch.  No Nigella.  And you know what?  I haven't slept three hours in a row for over a week.  It was bliss.  I didn't even cough once I'd settled.  Fortunately I woke in time to go and pick the kids up from school!!

I'm out for the next two evenings and I have a precious little 5yo niece coming on Friday afternoon so I hope by tomorrow my nose will have settled and there will be fewer coughing fits to be endured.  Maybe more Anne of Green Gables is required?

Too Excited about the End in Sight

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I had a moment where I realised I was a little bit too excited about being nearly half way through the last term of the year.  In six weeks' time Uni will be finished.  School will be finished.  I will have six weeks of relaxing ahead of me.  In six weeks' time I will only be arguing spending time with my own children.  I might find the energy to cook properly every night.  And clean the house from top to bottom.  Twice.  And I will definitely be ploughing my way through all sorts of fun books.  In six weeks' time Christmas will have been planned, implemented and enjoyed.

Alright - I don't really care that I am a little too excited about the end of the school year.  I can't wait to have a proper break and I can't wait to just "be" for a little while.